Dirty Little Secret Read online

  Noah swore. Hoping he was close enough to the stables for someone to hear him, he whistled. The high-pitched sound carried and Robby rushed out and spotted them. Noah reined in next to the ranch foreman.

  “What happened?”

  “He collapsed. Help me get him in the truck.”

  Robby took John by the shoulders. Noah swung down from the horse and caught John’s legs.

  Annabelle ran out of the house. “Oh my God!”

  “Get the truck door, Sprite.”

  Noah and Robby muscled John into the front seat and buckled him in. No time to wait for an ambulance to drive all the way out here, they’d drive him to the hospital and get him the help he needed.

  Noah hoped they were in time.

  The hospital waiting room walls closed in on Noah as he paced, his long stride eating up the stained carpet. He rolled his shoulders, but nothing eased the ache that had taken hold and wouldn’t let go. Wild thoughts raced through his mind.

  He hung on to only one: John Cordero was the strongest, most stubborn man he’d ever met. He wouldn’t dare die of something as stupid as falling off his horse.

  But John hadn’t been in the saddle in more than two months. He’d made excuses and complained of getting old and aching joints and too much damn paperwork.

  The usual John complaints Noah heard so often, he didn’t think anything of it.

  “Mr. Cordero?”

  The doctor’s voice brought back the panic he’d felt seeing John unconscious in the truck.

  “Yes. It’s just Noah. How is he?”

  Annabelle stood and wrapped her arms around Noah’s middle. He hugged her close, needing her support as much as she needed his.

  “Your father is in the ICU. He’s critical.”

  “What happened?” Tears streaked down Annabelle’s pale cheeks.

  “I’ve been treating Mr. Cordero for the past eight months. He asked me to come and explain his condition. He has a rare brain tumor.”

  “The trip to Chicago two months ago.” Noah put the pieces together.

  “I sent him for some specialized treatment in hopes of shrinking the tumor and prolonging his life. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as successful as we hoped. Frankly, it was a long shot, but Mr. Cordero was willing to tolerate the treatment.”

  “He’s been so tired lately.” Annabelle pressed closer to Noah’s side. At fifteen, she’d endured enough loss in her short life. Lisa, fed up with raising a baby and John’s increasing disinterest in anything his wife did, walked out when Annabelle was just three, granting custody to her ex-husband.

  Again, John lost the woman, but kept the child. John had done his best raising Annabelle on his own.

  “Last I saw him a week ago, he was having difficulty with his balance, his vision was blurry, and his motor functions were deteriorating.”

  If Noah had known he’d have never let John on a horse. The thought of what could have happened if he’d fallen while they galloped across the fields shuddered through Noah’s body.

  “The tumor has caused some bleeding deep in the brain. It’s only a matter of time.”

  “Are you saying he’s dying?” Annabelle couldn’t seem to comprehend the doctor’s implausible words.

  “I’m sorry, miss, but yes.”

  “How long?” A strange gruffness filled his voice, and Noah choked back the emotions welling up inside him.

  “Hours. Maybe a day or two.” The doctor waited a moment while they absorbed the devastating news.

  Annabelle’s nails dug into his side, her grip tightening along with the band around his chest, but he didn’t feel the pain. Everything inside him went numb.

  “Mr. Cordero left instructions detailing his wishes. I’ve contacted his lawyer, letting him know we’ve invoked the living will. We’ve made John comfortable. He slips in and out of consciousness with varying degrees of alertness. This may continue for a while. You’re welcome to stay with him in the room. If there is anyone you need to contact, I suggest you do it immediately.”

  “Mary, our housekeeper, and Robby, our foreman, are at the house. They’ll want to come and say goodbye,” Annabelle stammered. “What about Mom?” she asked, uncertain.

  “You can call her on my cell, Sprite.”

  “She probably won’t care.”

  Probably not, Noah agreed, but didn’t voice his opinion. “Call her. No matter what she says or does, at least you know you tried.” He dug his cell out of his dusty jeans pocket and handed it to her.

  He waited for her to take a seat in the corner before he spoke to the doctor again. “Is there anything you need me to do? Decisions have to be made.”

  The doctor clapped a hand on Noah’s shoulder and squeezed, offering what little comfort he could under the circumstances. “Eight months ago, I told Mr. Cordero to get his affairs in order. The living will he set up takes care of all the decisions needed in this situation. Spend time with him. Say goodbye.”

  The doctor left with that damn sympathetic look on his face. Noah turned to Annabelle, worried about the call to her rattlesnake of a mother. Not surprising, Annabelle looked worse for talking to her instead of better.

  “She’s not coming,” his sister mumbled and dropped the phone in his hand.

  He bent in front of her and put his hands on her knees. “I’m sorry, Sprite. You tried.”

  “Fat lot of good it did me. She hates me.”

  “She doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t even know you.”

  “Isn’t that worse?” Sometimes Annabelle was too damn smart for her own good.

  Noah cocked up one side of his mouth. “Do you think she’ll ever change?”

  Annabelle folded her arms over her chest. “No.”

  “Then quit expecting her to do what you hope she’ll do, instead of the thing you know she’ll do.”

  Annabelle’s head fell forward. “What’s going to happen to me?”

  “What do you mean, Sprite?” He brushed a strand of wet hair off her tear-stained cheek. He wasn’t prone to tender gestures, but her eyes were still bright with unshed tears, the blue depths filled with nothing but sadness and a fear he understood all too well. No one liked to be left behind.

  “I’m a minor. If Dad dies, I’ll have to go stay with my mother. She doesn’t want me. She’ll leave me again and I’ll be alone.”

  “Never.” Absolute certainty filled his voice, though he wasn’t sure he spoke the truth. If John died and Lisa wanted Annabelle, he’d have a hell of a time gaining custody. “I’ll never let her take you.”

  He hoped Lisa didn’t get some wild bug up her ass and make him a liar.

  If the doctor was right and John had prepared for this day, Noah hoped John had figured this out with his lawyer.

  “Can we see him now?”

  He held his hand out to her. “Come on, Sprite. Stop worrying. No matter what, it’s you and me.”

  “You swear?”

  Noah understood her fear. Where she still held hope that her mother would come around and want to be with her again, Noah had erected a shield to keep people out and his feelings in.

  Much like John, he’d learned that no one could hurt you if they didn’t know you cared.

  “I swear. No one will ever come between us.”

  Chapter Two

  Roxy sat bolt upright when her phone rang. She swiped the back of her hand over her mouth, wiped away the embarrassing drool, and picked up her phone expecting one of her sisters. She’d fallen asleep at the kitchen table after working all night and morning. She checked the time and caller ID. The number on the screen didn’t register. Could be a cable system customer.

  “Hello.”

  “Miss Cordero?”

  “Yes, this is Roxy.”

  “You don’t know me. This is Tom Nelson. I’m the lawyer who represents your father, John Cordero.”

  “I know who my father is.”

  Tom paused at her sharp tone.

  Her sisters Sonya, Adria, and Juliana were left to won
der about their fathers. Those guys probably didn’t even know they had daughters.

  “Um, yes, well, he’s in the hospital.”

  Roxy sat up straighter, but couldn’t find any words. Everything inside her went still.

  “The doctor believes he won’t make it through the night.” Her ears buzzed with the rush of adrenaline and denial that shot through her system. She barely heard Tom’s next words over the hum in her head. “I took the liberty of booking you a flight. It leaves in two hours. You’ll need to hurry to make it.”

  The shocking news took her by surprise. She didn’t know how to feel. Sad. Worried. Angry. Scared. Emotions swirled in her heart.

  “Roxy, your father is asking for you.”

  Her heart had grown cold the last many years her father stayed out of her life. She wanted to feel indifferent, but couldn’t, not when her heart broke thinking that if she didn’t hurry, she’d miss her chance to make things right.

  She rattled off her email address. “Send me the flight information and where to find him. I’m on my way.”

  She hung up, unable to talk any longer like her world hadn’t just been turned upside down. Again.

  The little girl inside her loved her daddy. The adult harbored resentments that he hadn’t been the perfect father to her that he was to Noah and Annabelle. Understanding why didn’t appease the sad little girl part of her.

  Adria walked up beside her and placed a steaming mug of coffee and a warm slice of apple cinnamon coffee cake on the table. Roxy jumped, startled anyone was home. She thought at least Adria would be attending her classes at UNLV. Juliana wasn’t always so conscientious about school or work.

  “Have you seen her?”

  Roxy shook her head, knowing Adria meant her twin, Juliana. Identical DNA didn’t mean they had the same personalities. While Adria worked hard in culinary school and her business classes, Juliana ran off to find any kind of trouble she could on the strip, ditching classes for fun and leaving real life to worry about later. Just like Juliana and Adria’s mother. Just like Roxy’s.

  Roxy took care of everyone, but right now she didn’t have it in her to worry about Adria and whatever Juliana had done to make her worry.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Roxy stared out the window of her little ranch house she shared with her sisters at the three-story Wild Rose Ranch mansion where her mother lived. From here, she could see part of the lush backyard garden that surrounded the large pool and two spas. At this time of the morning, most of the red velvet drapes were drawn in the upstairs bedroom windows. Few clients stayed the night, but a few stragglers were probably passed out with one or two hookers draped over them.

  Her mother might be one of them.

  Ugh! She wiped that yucky thought out of her mind and focused on her father and their strange relationship. “My father is dying.”

  Adria’s eyes went wide. “What?”

  “His lawyer just called. John’s in the hospital. It’s only a matter of time. Hours it seems.”

  And here she sat wasting time. But would being there change anything?

  “What are you going to do?”

  Her phone dinged with an email. She held up the phone. “All the arrangements have been made.”

  Adria took her hand and pulled her up out of her seat. “Come on. I’ll help you.”

  That’s what they did. They may not be blood, but they were family. Her father might be family, but he was a stranger, a ghost in Roxy’s turbulent life.

  Adria tugged her by the hand into Roxy’s room. “You get dressed. I’ll start packing. How long will you be gone?”

  “His lawyer said he won’t last the night.”

  Adria’s frown matched Roxy’s irritation. “And he notified you at the very last second?”

  Roxy had been an afterthought in her father’s life. It didn’t surprise her she was the last to know. It surprised her she was notified at all.

  “Are you going to tell Candy?”

  “Hell no.” The last thing Roxy needed was Candy’s interference, or worse, her wanting to go with Roxy. One look at Candy standing over his deathbed would certainly kill her father on the spot. Candy would probably shake him down for more money. She wouldn’t put it past Candy to pull out his IV line and jab it into her own arm just for the high-octane pain meds.

  Candy didn’t care about John. She only cared about what she could get from him.

  “I don’t blame you. Candy’s not exactly the compassionate sort.”

  No. She’d probably flirt with and seduce every doctor in the place. She liked a man with money to burn. On her.

  Roxy shuddered. Just when you thought a situation couldn’t get worse, Candy found a way to muck it up even more.

  Adria packed. Roxy stripped off her leggings and T-shirt and found something comfortable to travel in and appropriate to see her father.

  Efficient as ever, Adria closed up the small suitcase she’d pulled out of the closet and stuffed with more clothes than Roxy thought she needed, shoes, the makeup bag from her bathroom, along with the other essentials she’d need. “All set.”

  Roxy finished brushing out her long hair. “I don’t need all that. I’ll probably be back in the morning.”

  “You never know. Come on, I’ll drive you to the airport.”

  Roxy followed Adria out to the car wondering if this was a good idea or not. Maybe some things were better left in the past.

  Chapter Three

  Noah saw her sneak into John’s hospital room. Damn. Roxy hoped to slip in and out unnoticed by the family. The last thing she wanted to do was intrude upon their bedside vigil. Still, John was her father and she deserved a few minutes to work her way through the muddled mess of emotions his imminent death invoked.

  She deserved to say her piece.

  She always thought there’d be time enough to meet again, have that awkward talk about why he’d left her with Candy. Why, after years, the calls and visits became few and far between. Ask him why their relationship dwindled to nothing but a check in the mail every month. That he did so without fail, even to this day when her eighteenth birthday had long since passed, gave her some hope that he was taking care of her in his own small way.

  Maybe he didn’t know how to approach her and felt as she did; the chasm between them was so wide, they didn’t know how to bridge it.

  Stepping into his room, seeing him lying so still, much thinner than she remembered, and deathly pale settled the old anger and hurt and brought forth a longing for more time.

  “He’s been in and out of consciousness most of the day,” the doctor explained. “I’m sorry to say, he hasn’t been lucid for many hours. I’m not sure he’ll wake up again. His condition is rapidly deteriorating. I don’t expect him to linger much longer.”

  “I appreciate your honesty. I’m sure his family wants to remain here with him. I won’t stay long.”

  “As long as you need. Tom informed me of the special circumstances. We’ll run interference while you’re here.”

  “I appreciate it. They have enough to deal with right now.”

  The doctor nodded, patted her shoulder, and left her alone in the room with her father.

  He always seemed so big. Now, with him in bed, he seemed so small, his life so fragile, a shadow of the strong and confident, overbearing and arrogant man she remembered.

  John looked terrible lying in that bed, his bronze complexion waxy and pale. Dark circles marred his eyes. She’d never seen him in anything but a black cowboy hat, denim, and pearl button plaid shirts. The smell of disinfectant overshadowed her memory of his woodsy, earthy scent. The smell of the outdoors, horses, and hard work.

  In the too-few short visits they shared over the years, she held on to a lot of memories. Hoarded them and pulled them out whenever she needed to remind herself that even strong, good, decent people made mistakes and took the easy way out when it was offered.

  No doubt, when John realized dealing with her mother was nothing short o
f banging his head against a wall, he’d decided to stop the madness and go his own way. It explained why every time he popped into her life, he avoided Candy at all costs and asked her to keep their visit a secret.

  Standing in front of him now, her anger wasn’t only for his leaving her behind, but for being stronger than her and walking away from Candy. Something Roxy to this day still couldn’t bring herself to do for fear Candy would self-destruct.

  Roxy couldn’t handle the guilt or shame that life without Candy would be better.

  Roxy took the seat beside John. She reached for his hand, pulled away before she ever touched him and felt foolish for fearing his rejection.

  Timid, she laid her hand over his on the bed and gave him a soft squeeze. “Hey, Dad, it’s me, Roxy.” Touching him brought her back to being nine years old. She remembered running to him, screaming, “Daddy,” and leaping into his open arms. His bright smile died when he saw the bruises on her cheek and arm. He hugged her close, felt her tense when he hurt her bruised back. He ordered her to wait outside the dismal one-room apartment while he talked to Candy. The loud argument drew neighbors’ interest. Not long after the yelling started, John walked out the door again. He stopped in front of her, told her to be a good girl, go to school every day, learn as much as she could, so she never ended up like her mother, and he left.

  “It’s been a long time. Years, this last time.” How did the time go by so fast? When did she stop waiting for him to show up? Minutes passed in silence before she could speak again. “Why’d you do it, Dad? Why did you leave me there? Why didn’t you take me from her?”

  “I always wanted you.”

  Startled by the whispered words, she jerked her head and stared at him, hoping beyond hope he’d pull through even though she knew that to be a fantasy.

  Golden hazel eyes opened and met her identical ones. Surprisingly, a tear slid down John’s cheek.

  Tears welled in her eyes. “I missed you,” she confessed. “I prayed you’d come back for me.”

  “Tried.”