The Me I Used to Be Read online

  “I don’t understand you.”

  “Yeah, I got that.” He touched his hand to the small of her back. “Let’s go.”

  Her mother stood on the porch watching them. “Is she in trouble?”

  Chris glanced over his shoulder. “No. I’ll bring her back this evening.”

  Whether that upset or relieved her mother, Evangeline didn’t know. This whole thing seemed odd, but then, she’d signed the agreement to help Chris with his investigation, so she went along without complaint or questions, despite her inner turmoil.

  The man never said more than what he wanted her to know, so why keep asking questions? He’d speak up when he was good and ready.

  Used to the guards shutting her down when she wanted to know more about something, she remained silent, got in the car, and tried to focus on the drive back to town and the beautiful rolling hills covered in lines of grapevines.

  The dispatcher rattled off codes and information from other officers. Chris drove without breaking the silence between them. Not that she gave him a chance to engage her. She didn’t want to say or do anything that might make him decide she wasn’t living up to the terms of her release or wouldn’t in the future. She didn’t want him to haul her back to prison.

  “Your mom hasn’t thawed toward you one bit, has she?”

  “Nope.” So much for avoiding a conversation.

  “Are you adjusting to being out?” His voice had softened to a deep pitch that sounded more friend than foe.

  She liked it. Which irritated her more. “It’s better than being in.”

  “You’ve filled the time. Your website looks incredible.”

  She snapped her head toward him. “Are you checking up on me?”

  “I have a vested interest in you. With the money your father left you”—I bet Joey shot off his big mouth—“you could have sat around and done nothing for a while. Instead, you invested in yourself and your future. That’s a great start, Evangeline.”

  She shook her head. “That was a compliment.” She couldn’t believe it.

  His mouth drew back in a line. “I don’t know why you’re so surprised.”

  “Uh, maybe because you hate me.”

  This time his head whipped toward her. “No, I don’t. I was doing my job when I arrested you.”

  “Your enthusiasm for busting me said otherwise.”

  “I was disappointed that someone as smart as you, with her whole life ahead of her, would do something so stupid.”

  “Yeah, well, I felt stupid for a long time after it happened.”

  Chris pulled into the bowling alley parking lot and parked right out front.

  “What are we doing here?”

  He opened the door to get out, but turned back to her first. “That conversation we haven’t had about what happened, that you don’t want to have with me, is coming, Evangeline. Sooner than you think.”

  She dismissed that because she really didn’t want to have that conversation. The last thing she wanted him to do was keep poking and discover the truth.

  Chris closed his door and waited for her in front of the car.

  She reluctantly gathered her stuff and joined him. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  He looked down at her, his lips tight, expression hidden behind those damn glasses. “Frustrating, isn’t it?”

  Okay, so he got her back a little bit for the hours he’d shot one question after the next at her and she’d refused to answer.

  His lips softened. “I got you a job.”

  She really needed to stop watching him so closely. It did weird things to her belly and made her even more nervous around him. “At the bowling alley?”

  “For them.” He touched his hand to her back and led her to the double doors with two sets of bowling pins tilted to make the Vs in VINO VALLEY BOWLING. Cute.

  Chris walked ahead of her toward the forty-something blonde behind the counter, who beamed a huge smile at him.

  “Hello, handsome. How’s my favorite superhero?”

  Chris leaned across the counter and hugged the woman. “Good.” He released the vibrant woman and leaned against the counter. “How’s business?”

  “Could be better.”

  “I brought someone to help you with that.” Chris waved Evangeline forward. “Evangeline, meet Rita. She owns this place and she needs your help if she’s going to keep it.”

  Evangeline held her hand out and shook Rita’s. “Pleased to meet you.”

  Rita pointed to Evangeline’s neck. “He save you from a bad man, too?”

  Evangeline glanced at Chris, then back to Rita, her mind playing out the scenario Rita hinted at and how Chris had helped her. Strange, she thought of Chris as the guy who put the bad guys away, but she’d never credited him with helping people.

  Something shifted inside her.

  It shamed her to only see him one way when he obviously did a lot of good for others in the community.

  “He arrested me for being in possession of stolen goods.” She told the truth because she didn’t want Rita to find out later that she’d hired an ex-con without knowing it. Besides, Chris would probably tell her.

  Chris frowned at her. “Evangeline is one of the smartest people I know. She got caught up in something she shouldn’t have, but she’s a whiz with a computer and she can help you.”

  “I hope so. We’ll have a good weekend with the tournament coming up, but most days I scrape by. Are you ready for that event?”

  Chris gave Rita a cocky grin, and the nerves in Evangeline’s belly turned to a flutter she tried to ignore, because . . . Chris. Enough said.

  “We’re going to crush it.”

  Evangeline turned to him. “You bowl?”

  He tried to hide the shy smile. “The sheriff’s department and Sonoma County Fire and Rescue have teams. We go head-to-head twice a year for charity.”

  “Okay, then.” She’d never pegged him as the bowling league type. He didn’t seem the kind to let loose and have fun.

  Chris pressed his lips together. “Rita needs a website where customers can book a lane, order food, keep track of scores, set up a party or tournament, that kind of thing. Can you do it?”

  “Don’t you think you should have asked me that before you brought me down here?”

  He eyed her.

  “Yes. I can do all that.” She leaned over the counter to get a look at the computer monitor in front of Rita. “You have the system set up for the lanes.”

  “All it does is allow me to set a name for the lane and show that it’s in use. I bought all-new monitors for the lanes last year. High-def, so everyone can see them clearly.”

  “Great. I’ll take a look at your computer system and outline a new system for you. Once you sign off, I’ll create the website and interface for the database.” Evangeline turned to the bar and small dining area. Most of the tables were in front of the seats and alleys. “Do you have an inventory system for food and beverages?”

  “I mostly take inventory each week and decide what needs to be ordered or restocked.”

  “What do you think about investing in a few tablets customers can use from the tables by the alleys to order food and drinks?”

  “I’ll consider it, if you think this new system will justify the cost.”

  “I’ll work it into the estimate. Because you’re my first customer, I’ll do the job at half cost if you’ll allow me to use your business for advertising mine.”

  “Sounds like a deal, so long as that half cost doesn’t break the bank.”

  Chris tapped the counter. “I’ll leave you two to work out the details.” He stared down at her. “Call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”

  “It’ll be a while. I’ll spend some time working up a design that works for Rita.”

  “Do your thing. I’ve gotta get back to work.” Chris smiled at Rita. “Told you she could help. See you soon.” Chris headed for the door with his usual long, purposeful strides.

  “I
think this might be the first time I’ve ever seen him really smile.” Evangeline shouldn’t notice something like that about him, but she did. The smile looked good on him.

  Rita chuckled. “He’s a serious one. But he’s got a good heart. He didn’t let up when my ex beat me to hell and I couldn’t bring myself to follow through on the charges. He kept telling me I was strong enough to stand up for myself and run this business on my own. He was right, but I didn’t know that until he made me believe it. He’s one of the good ones.”

  Evangeline went with her gut, and dumped all her stuff on the counter. “I’ll be right back.” She ran for the door and out into the parking lot. She caught Chris as he pulled the SUV door open. “Hey. Wait.”

  Chris turned to her, eyes narrowed. “What?”

  Evangeline stopped three feet in front of him, looked him in the eye without all the hostility she usually felt for him, and accepted that maybe he wasn’t all bad, that he’d done this for her because he wanted to be nice. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this and go out of your way for me. I appreciate it.”

  Everything about him softened. The intense look in his eyes changed to one of appreciation. “All I did was put two people together who needed each other.”

  “You’re allowing me a second chance. That means a lot. Especially when you could make things a lot harder for me.”

  “You more than earned the second chance.” Chris stared off into the distance, then settled his gaze on her again and took a step toward her. “Whether you believe this or not, I want to make things better for you because I believe you deserve that and a hell of a lot more. I made a mistake when I arrested you. That’s on me.”

  Before she could ask what he meant, his radio squawked to life, and he slid into the car.

  “Sorry. Break’s over. I’ve got to get back to work.” He started the engine, backed out, and tore off out of the parking lot, lights flashing.

  She didn’t know what the call number meant. Serious enough to call for lights and sirens.

  She put her hand to her tight belly and tried to stop the sudden worry for Chris and whatever he might be facing on the job. She told herself he was none of her concern, but it didn’t work, because the way he’d said she deserved more than a second chance and admitted he’d made a mistake made her hope that he and others would stop seeing her through the lens of that one night, that one act, that had changed everything in her life.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Evangeline used the walk from the bowling alley to the bar down the street to clear her head. She welcomed the bar’s quieter atmosphere compared with the incessant crashing of balls into pins. She sat at a table in the back, dropped her bags at her feet, and rubbed at her forehead. After hours spent staring at her computer, eye strain tightened the muscles in her forehead and threatened to turn into a raging headache if she didn’t stop for the night.

  She loved Rita for giving her a chance and showing so much enthusiasm for the outline and examples she’d shown her for the new website. Rita oohed and aahed over the design and the potential for how easy it would be for her and her customers to use the new system.

  Evangeline’s chest swelled with pride. She loved helping Rita, but more than that, she’d needed this boost in confidence. She knew she could do the work and hoped to parlay this job into many more.

  She wanted to show her mother she could be more than that one mistake. More than anything, she wanted to make something of herself and get back a piece of the woman she used to be.

  “I thought I saw you come in here.”

  Lost in thought, she didn’t see Darren approach the table. So much for keeping her back to the wall and not letting anyone take her by surprise.

  Darren, audacious as ever, sat across from her without an invitation.

  “What are you doing?”

  He leaned in. “We need to talk.”

  The waitress, dressed in a black pencil skirt and white button-down top, stepped up to the table. “Darren, so good to see you.”

  Darren stood and gave the waitress a peck on the cheek and a hug. “Bree, looking good as always.” Darren gestured to Evangeline. “This is my very good friend Evangeline.”

  Bree leaned into Darren’s side, but smiled at her. “Nice to meet you. What can I get you?”

  Darren answered for her. “Bring us two glasses of the Campi Verde Merlot.”

  Annoyance that he’d answer for her turned to rage that he’d order that particular wine. The one she’d been caught with. She held back what she really wanted to say, because she couldn’t be sure he had done it on purpose. Maybe he didn’t know and simply liked that wine. But whether coincidence or not, he piqued her curiosity and suspicions that his innocent act wasn’t so innocent.

  “Actually, I’ll have a beer. Whatever you have on tap. I’ll start my own tab.”

  Bree raised a curious brow, but went to get their drinks without a word.

  Darren sat across from her again.

  Evangeline cocked her chin toward the pretty waitress. “Looks like you’re cozy with her.”

  Darren’s smile notched up. “Jealous?”

  “Not even a little bit.” She meant it, but added enough humor to her voice so she didn’t hurt his feelings. Not that she really cared about that, either. But she was trying to be nice, because behind bars you had to always be so tough and it wore on her. “I saw you with your girlfriend a few days ago.”

  “Not my girlfriend. A client up from L.A.”

  “Why not take her to the winery you work at for drinks?”

  Darren eyed her. “You were always so smart.”

  She didn’t say a word, because her suspicions had led her to trip him up and reveal something he didn’t want her or his employer to know.

  As expected, when the silence stretched and she patiently waited, he opened up. “I have a side business I keep quiet because it’s kind of a conflict with my real job.”

  “I take it you’re selling wine that isn’t from the winery that pays your salary.”

  Darren gave her a conspiratorial smile. “Yes. And no.”

  She didn’t want to know more about his underhanded endeavor or whatever game he played. “What are you doing here?”

  “I saw you come in and wanted to talk to you about what happened.”

  “I have nothing to say about that.” She wanted to move on. If only others would let her.

  “Don’t you think I have a right to know? We were together. All of a sudden I hear you’ve been arrested, pled guilty, and you’re in jail. Not a word from you. I wrote to you, but you never wrote back.”

  “What did you want me to say? ‘Sorry I got busted. I hope this doesn’t change anything. See you in six years.’”

  “I thought you’d at least explain what happened.” His tone said he wanted to know something else.

  “I got pulled over. Chris found the stolen wine hidden in the hay. He arrested me. I went to prison.” Because jail was different, even if he didn’t know it. She’d gotten an up-close and in-depth education on that. “End of story.”

  “End of us.”

  She leaned forward. “Come on, Darren, admit it. You weren’t terribly broken up that things didn’t work out. Three letters, not a single mention about you missing me, wanting to see or speak to me, nothing really personal. My absence barely registered in your life.” Or in his heart.

  “That’s not true.” His denial lacked the depth of conviction she needed to be convinced.

  He didn’t write in his letters that he loved her, either, but she could live with that because she’d already known when he did say it, he didn’t really mean it.

  “I was upset and blindsided by what happened. I wasn’t thinking clearly. But we were good together. We could be again.” He reached across the table and put his hand over hers.

  She didn’t feel anything. Not a spark of desire. Not even a tiny tingle. In fact, she checked the urge to pull away because she suspected what Chris wanted from her had to d
o with Darren. How and why, she didn’t know. Yet.

  “Evangeline, I know a lot of people. Right now your reputation is persona non grata. I could help change that by introducing you to people. It could help with your business.”

  She slipped her hand free and sat back. “How do you know about that?”

  “I made it my business to know. I could help you get back on your feet.”

  She tilted her head. A moment ago he tried to convince her he was so broken up about the end of their relationship that he wanted her back. Now he wanted to help her with her business. And the catch? “Why would you do that?”

  “Because we have a history. And I’m hoping a future.”

  Bree arrived with their drinks, saving her from having to respond. She didn’t know what to say. On the one hand, she appreciated that he wanted to help her, but on the other, she didn’t need or want his help. Because it didn’t seem like a genuine offer. Beneath his words, his demeanor, even that simple touch of hands, something else lingered. Something she didn’t trust.

  And it made her think of the matter-of-fact way Chris went about helping her get a job. All I did was put two people together who needed each other. She believed that from Chris, but not from Darren and the way he put it.

  Bree hovered beside Darren. “Can I get you anything else? Something to eat?”

  “Thank you, sweetheart, we’re fine.” Darren never took his eyes off Evangeline. He didn’t even ask if she wanted anything. He took a sip of his wine, then asked over the rim of the glass, “How did you get caught?” His eyes remained direct on her, even when he took another sip.

  So that’s what he really wanted to know.

  She studied him right back, noticing this quieter, intense version of him. Two sides of the same coin. One outgoing, the life of the party. The other calculated and cunning.

  When they met, she thought him a good guy with just enough bad boy to make him interesting. Maybe she’d had that backward. Darren hid his darker side beneath a veneer of charm.

  Her gaze shifted to the man walking in the door and her stomach went tight. Chris’s gaze narrowed on her, then landed on Darren and turned molten with rage before he walked toward them and his face went blank again.